Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Merry Christmas 2008!

We will be heading to GA on Friday, December 19th after Music Man's Christmas party at school. Please come see us while we are there! We'll be staying at Jason's parents' house for at least ten days (through the 29th or so.) We will have our cell phones and their phone number is the same one they have always had! You can also email or Facebook us if you want.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sunday, October 12, 2008

I am a survivor, too...

Cheryl Haggard is one of the co-founders of the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization. NILMDTS is the infant bereavement photography organization that provides professional portrait packages to families experiencing pregnancy loss. I have been involved with the organization for quite some time now but have only recently discovered her personal blog. She writes with such compassion and blatant honesty and I cannot help but post this as it describes how every bereaved mother feels about her pregnancy loss.

I am a survivor too...

So, I was wearing my Maddux necklace the other day, and a lady asked me about it. I told her that was my son, Maddux. He died three 1/2 years ago. I went on to explain about the month of October being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and this was a way for me to honor him during this time...She politely nodded her head, like she understood, and then she opened her mouth. "Oh my God! I would just die if something happened to one of my children." "How did you ever survive?" Like I ever had a choice? How many times did I say I wished death would have taken me too? That only my death could ever stop my pain? That I have three other children at home, that needed a mother. How do I tell this to a stranger? Her question, for a moment made me feel like a failure. Like if I had been a good mother, I too would be dead. If we really loved our children, would we not die for them? Lay down our own lives?

Well, I stood there for a moment? Thought about her question. Then I opened my mouth. Yes, you heard me, I opened my mouth. I said, very politely, "I did die. My world was dark for such a long time. The person I was before my son does not exist anymore. Today, I stand before you, a new person, a stronger person, and a better mother. A person that can show empathy and compassion to a complete stranger." She looked at me, and I think she started to stutter out an apology. I stopped her and said "Please, no apology. You didn't say anything wrong, you said what you felt. Next time you meet a mother that has lost a child, and I am sure you will, just remember that a part of her did die. And that she is a survivor. A survivor of something there is no cure for, except that, of having her child back in her arms." Know what happened next?

She gave me a small hug, and whispered "Thank you..."

There is so much publicity about breast cancer awareness during the month of October, Pregnancy and Infant Loss gets swept under the rug. You all know what I mean and what I am saying. I want to scream at the top of my lungs "I AM A SURVIVOR!!!!" "MY BABY DIED, AND THERE IS NO CURE FOR THAT!!!" "WHAT ABOUT ME????" "WHERE IS MY AWARENESS, WHERE IS MY SUPPORT???" "HELLO, IS ANYBODY LISTENING?"

The Haggard Family: I am a survivor, too...

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Did It Have Corn Syrup In It?

Jason came home from work pretty late for a Saturday. Adin was anxiously awaiting their snuggle time and had his "Bible" all ready for Daddy to read. Jason read to him and of course Adin asked for several more stories. Jason, being exhausted from the week and day asked Adin to read to him instead. We love it when Adin "reads" to us, making up what he thinks the story is by what is going on in the picture. They went though several stories and then went back to Adam and Eve. Adin is full of questions at all time and even though he is "reading" he is asking a lot of 'Whys.'

Adin: Daddy why are they sad? (meaning Adam and Eve)
Jason: Because they did something they weren't supposed to do and God was punishing them for it. Like when you do something bad and Mommy and Daddy have to punish you.
Adin: Mm hmm. Why they did something bad?
(.... several questions and answers back and forth about Adam and Eve ....)
Jason: ... and it was bad that they did that and they should not have eaten it. (the apple)
Adin: Did it have corn syrup in it?

I lost it. I had been folding laundry in the living room hearing the whole conversation and story time.

We have recently eliminated corn syrup from the boys' diet and Adin assumes everything "bad" has corn syrup in it. How absolutely precious!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

We are button-less!!

Music Man got his mickey button (G-Tube) out Wednesday afternoon! We went in for a checkup and to talk about getting it out.

The doctor said, "Well, mom, when do you want it out?"
"As soon as possible!"
"Well, let me go get a syringe!" and off he went!

Music Man was very upset about losing his button (he hates change!) But he did beautifully and after a few hours quit whining about not wanting it out. He hates the band-aid over it and picks at it constantly, but I am afraid he will pick at the hole if we take it off before it is completely healed. The hole inside his body is closed (it started closing immediately. We got back in a month to have him check it. We have kept a band-aid over it to keep him from messing with it and to catch whatever might leak out. It is healing beautifully! It is so strange to not see it under his clothes but so wonderful to bear hug him without worrying about the button!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Ever Get So Behind it Looks Like You Are First?

So it is almost September and I have close to 200 pictures that I haven't weeded through. I have these cute posts floating around in my head about the boys and things they have done. (I think that happens to everyone once they start blogging. It becomes an addiction! ... Oh I could blog that! ... Oh wow, that would be so cute to blog about!) Anyway, I hope in the next few weeks I'll get through the things I was gonna tell you about. I have some really cool stuff going on right now though ...

  • Remembering Your Baby paperwork (for the 501 (c) 3 status) is almost done!
  • We are starting a Bible Study next week! (Well, I am just the organizer, Jason will be teaching it!
  • We are starting to get the hang of our new schedule! (But Adin starts soccer next week, so we'll see how that plays in on Monday!)
  • I have a pre-teen(!) Ok that's not cool ... see previous post ... but it is still on my mind!
OK I gotta go play catch up! It's 5:00am here and I've been awake since 3:30 a.m. And no, I don't know why!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I Have a Pre-Teen????

When did this happen? I am NOT ready for this!! Yesterday we went to our regular pediatrician for a normal yearly checkup. (We somehow missed it last year and it was time to get all of Music Man's scripts for therapy updated so we just did this year's check up a few months early.) Our pediatrician is wonderful and we only see him when we go for Music Manbecause he knows Music Manso well and is fabulous with him. Anyway, everything checked out fine, we talked a bit about other appointments we are scheduled for and of course checked his height and weight etc. Well, the little general info sheet for the age of child check-up actually said PRE-TEEN CHECKUP at the top. Oh my! Where oh where did the time go? A pre-teen!! The good news is that he only has to get these checkups every other year now. We do have to go back for his Flu Shot and Hep A if we decide to do that one.

Height: 51 1/2" (40%)
Weight: 49 lbs (5%)

Those numbers look so ominous when written down. He is still on the same growth pattern he has always been on but I sure would like to figure out how to put a little weight on him!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Family Update August 08

School started for Music Man last Thursday. He has now finished a full week and is doing well. He is in resource for his academics on a modified third grade curriculum. He is with his typical peers during homeroom, recess, lunch and activity (computer, library, pe, music and art.) He likes his new teachers (and we do too!) Music Man gets speech, OT and PT in school and speech in private therapy as well. We have recently found a hippotherapy program just south of us, but do not yet know if we can get it covered by insurance. (Hippotherapy is a physical, occupational and speech therapy treatment strategy that utilizes equine movement, as defined by the American Hippotherapy Association.) He has various appointments scheduled over the next few months including his first visit to the orthodontist! We actually have to travel to Tupelo for his orthodontics doctor as no one around here takes his insurance.

Farm Boy still has a couple of more weeks before he starts back in Mother's Day Out. He is looking forward to starting his "school" again. Unfortunately, his two closest buddies are a few months older than him and started school this year. He will end up being one of the oldest in his classes (just like me, lol!) Farm Boy will begin soccer in a local church in another week or so. It is non-competitive and a lot of fun for the kids.

I started a blog for Remembering Your Baby on July 3, which was seven years since we lost Sammie. Please feel free to visit if you would like to see it.

Please pray with us as we consider the next chapter in our life. We are aching to get back into ministry after three years of soaking. We know our heart's desire but want to be absolutely sure it is what God wants and not just what we want. Details will be forth-coming as soon as we know what we are going to do.

Blessings, Dawn

New Look for the Blog

I found a cool site for free Blogger Templates, and have been playing around with this particular one. Let me know what you think.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Photo Session with Mom

Here are some pictures I took of the boys today. We always try to take one for Jason's birthday (which is tomorrow.)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Family Update June 08

Well, school is over and summer is in full swing. We have attended three VBS programs at three churches, two themed Outback Island and one was Cowboy Canyon. This week the boys have another one called Power Lab. They have loved both programs and were kind of bummed that there was no VBS to attend last week.

This week and next they are attending Swim Camp, which is an eight-day swimming lessons program (M-Th for two weeks.)

Music Man has completed the second grade. He is gearing up for third grade at Hernando Hills Elementary School at the same school he attended second grade. He will have a new teacher who does a modified curriculum. We have an Assisted Technology consultation next month to evaluate his needs in the way of testing and doing his assignment. Because writing is difficult for him, it takes an incredibly long time for him to complete written assignments and tests. We are looking at computer system to help him do his assignments on. Music Man has been doing well physically speaking for quite some time. He did have two episodes in November and we saw his specialist. Assuming that he was refluxing we made some modifications and have not had any episodes since then. Unfortunately, since that means he could be refluxing again, we need to have a barium swallow study done and rule it out (or in.) If he is refluxing again, it could mean we have to have his nissen fundoplication redone and the GTube will have to stay in place.

Farm Boy will be back in Mother's Day Out next year again with the same teacher at the same school. Most of his buddies are going to kindergarten, so he will be one of, if not THE, oldest in his class. He loves his teacher and enjoys the program. His teacher actually writes her own curriculum and works with the kids rather than just supervises them for six hours. They also get to go to the gym and have recess, both of which he loves.

That's all for now. I'm still trying to get used to blogging. :)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Family Update May 08

Well, it's May. Spring in Mississippi brought lots and rain. The Mississippi has overflowed her banks with no signs of receding. I am awesomely amazed at the amount of water that has dropped from the sky this spring. It is reminiscent of the flood of '94. I was at GSU and though we got rain there, it was nothing like what my hometown of Albany, GA received. That is what we are experiencing now. I've taken some pictures of the River and will share them in a different post.

School is drawing to an end. Music Man is gearing up for third grade. I am very ready for this school year to end. This is the first year I have not enjoyed as far as school is concerned and I don't feel he made as much progress as he could have. I'll leave it at that and just say that I am ready for second grade to draw to a close. :)

Music Man has been playing tee ball on Tuesday nights at the Field of Dreams. It is an incredible all-inclusive ball program that allows all children (and young adults) to play. He is truly in his element here and enjoyed every minute of it.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Family Update April 08

Well, it has been quite a month in our household. Spring is springing and boy has is sprung! It has been super, super wet here these past few weeks. We are taking every opportunity we can to get out and enjoy the nice weather when it is here, but we have seen more cloudy and rainy days than sunny in the last month. We have thankfully been spared the bad weather, though it has been all around us. Hernando is nestled in a spot that seems to hide from the really bad stuff. We just get a lot of rain.

We have about six weeks left of school for this year (OH MY!!) Summer will be here before we know it and that means I will have a THIRD Grader!! (OH MY, OH MY!!) We are gearing up for an end-of-the year IEP and tee ball! (More details forthcoming!)

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Family Update March 08

My last post was right after school started so I will go back to there, catch you guys up and attempt to make this a more regular thing, which was why I started it in the first place. :)

Music Man is in the second grade at Hernando Hills Elementary School. We have four elementary schools in Hernando, each now housing two grades. He is in a regular classroom for homeroom, activity (computer, PE, art, music, library,) lunch and recess. He gets all of his academics however in the sped classroom. He gets a lot of one-on-one attention there but is expected to do his own work. His teachers are wonderful and he is getting his therapies at school. His favorite class is PE although he loves working on his Edmark program in reading. A lot (if not all) of his testing is done orally as he still has a hard time with penmanship and writing and it takes him a very long time to complete an assignment.

Farm Boy is still attending Hernando Baptist's Mother's Day Out program. He goes on Tuesdays and Thursday for a full day and loves it. He's learning a lot and loves to do his "homework" when Music Man is working on his. They each have a few friends that they are close to and we recently had some new neighbors move across the street from us, who are exactly the same age as Music Man and Farm Boy.

Over the weekend, we took the boys and Bella to a state park we had never been to. We hiked 2.5 miles around a lake and had a great afternoon. Everyone was of course exhausted afterwards, but it was a beautiful false-spring day (its 33F as I type this!!!)

I am also working through some paperwork for Remembering Your Baby, trying to get us up and running as an official non-profit organization. The laws in Mississippi are so different from those in GA and FL, I suppose from the not-so-nice non-profits that sprung up after Hurricane Katrina. Anyway, I took a break from that over the holidays and now we are getting started again.

OK So the Mommy-Induced Forgetfulness Strikes Again

And I completely forgot about this blog. Last night as Jason and I were just relaxing in the quiet after the kids went to bed, it hit me. He was actually reading a blog from a pastor-author and I had this brilliant thought that maybe I should blog so my updates would become more frequent again. Yeah, that was actually my thought process ... funny huh? So sometime in the wee hours of the morning, admist the weird dreams and urges to get up for the bathroom, I remembered that I had indeed created a blog last fall. Wow. When something like that hits you, there is nothing to blame expect mommyhood. So here I am. Let's see .... I'm not really sure where to start. I last posted in September and lots has happened since then (again, hence the need for this blog!!)

I think I will allow this post to "just be." I'll add another one today updating the past few months, hopefully with pictures .... my camera cords are MIA and I have a lot of pictures I need to get off of it .... we'll see.
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