Thursday, May 5, 2011

How I Plan for Mother's Day

For me, Mother's Day is bittersweet.

I still have my own mother and my mother-in-law. It will be difficult this year for my father-in-law as we lost his mother earlier this year.

But I am missing my middle child. That makes Mother's Day a bit difficult. There is usually a baby dedication going on at church.

And while I am happy for my friends, it pains my heart to see babies on mother's Day since I will not birth anymore. And I wanted more.

That is still after seven years hard for me. Music Man has a genetic disorder and we have chosen to not bring other children into this world who may also have to live with those challenges. We do plan to adopt but that is still a couple of years in the future.

But I celebrate the boys I have with me. We take a family day a few times a year and remove ourselves from the busyness of life. Mother's Day is one of those days. I prefer to spend my day with my two boys I have with me, doing something with them and their daddy. I am able to focus on them and not on what I don't have.

Here are a few things to think about as you plan for a Mother's Day when you don't feel like celebrating:
  • Do something. I like to get out of the house since I can sit around all day and be sad or be distracted by something fun to do if we aren't at home. We like to choose something we haven't done before so it stands out in our memory. Last year we took the boys to Anna Ruby Falls at Unicoi State Park in Helen. That was where we honeymooned and they had never been. In 2009, we climbed Stone Mountain.
  • Take pictures.That is just a given in my family, but if you don't regularly take them, take a few. Even if the only camera you have is on your phone. (That happened to me last year since I totally forgot my camera! The above photo was taken with my iPhone.)
  • Plan a picnic. I personally hate going out to eat and seeing families with tons of kids.
  • Choose to go to church or not to. There have been several Mother's Days where I had no choice in the matter. I had to go because my husband was on staff at a church. Farm Boy was dedicated on one of those such Sundays. It was okay that year since I was distracted by the service but now we can choose not to go. 
Whatever you do, don't let someone tell you that you have to celebrate a certain way. Do what works for you. Personally, this year I would love to be on a secluded beach somewhere watching my boys play in the surf.

Do you do something for Mother's Day that may not be the norm?


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