First Lost Tooth

Last night while I was getting out of the shower, I heard some commotion in what should have been a very quiet house. The boys had already gone to bed and Jason was packing for his trip to Mississippi. I heard Jason tell me to put a robe on so Farm Boy could show me something. They came in and Farm Boy screamed "I wost a toof Mommy!" He then attempted to show me the hole in his mouth but every time he opened his mouth so I could see, his bottom lip would cover his teeth making it impossible to see anything. This went on for a good thirty minutes as I tried no less than ten times to take a picture. The one above was the last one I took and you can see my thumb in it. He loved showing it off today as we went to Jason's parent's house and then at school all day. I still can't get used to it. I cannot believe how big he is getting!!

I've missed blogging ....

So it has been a crazy few weeks. I spent them catching up on all the things I hadn't done and couldn't do while I was working for a month. I have really missed blogging but it is difficult since we do not have internet access at our house at the moment. I come to Jason's parent's house a few times a week but usually spend that time downloading email and checking the blogs I read. I can get them on my phone but emailing on my phone isn't fun and blogging on it would be even harder. Ah well ...

So I am getting ready to head out to the Board of Education in Walton County. I do hope I will not have the "pleasure" of seeing the guy who thought he knew best for my child without even meeting him. I refuse to have any more dealings with him but yet he is the one who is supposed to be our elementary coordinator. Anyway, the Meet and Greet Luncheon is hosted by the Parent Mentor and I think it is monthly. This is the only one I have been able to attend and I think it might be the last one for the year. Noah's IEP meeting for goals and placement for next year is actually Thursday. I'll update on that later this week. I made visits to our home district school along with the other one in Monroe and know which one he is best suited for. I am excited about the possibilities for next year if we actually make it through the 3rd grade. :S

What a Month!

Well, it has been a weird and wild month. I cannot even believe to catch you guys up so I won't attempt to. Below is a letter I emailed tonight. You will probably see in it that my job was short-lived. Please pray as we again make another transition. I am really okay with not working there anymore. I am FLOORED at how it transpired. I am glad to be able to focus on my kids again and Remembering Your Baby. I'll update again once we get through Easter.

---------

April 6, 2009

To Those It May Concern:

While I greatly appreciate the opportunity to serve in the area of hospice care, it is with a heavy heart that I send this correspondence.

I was hired on March 3, 2009. At that time, I was told that the volunteer program at Hospice Advantage-Athens had been unintentionally neglected for a period of approximately six months. As a result, the program was in need of a complete restart. I went through corporate orientation and training for two weeks, so as one would expect, no recruiting was done during my first two weeks of employment.

In my third week of employment, I met with Shari Koch, who I was told, had the most successful volunteer program in the entire company. That experience proved invaluable to me. It affirmed that the method and manner of recruiting and retaining volunteers that I have used for close to ten years in other organizations have worked successfully in the hospice setting and more specifically within the Hospice Advantage organization. However, I quickly found out that the Athens location had never done things that way. Ideas were met with skepticism. Methods were questioned.

In fact, in my fourth week of employment I was sent to fourteen different assisted living facilities on a marketing mission in order to assist in improving our census numbers. I willingly complied because I was certain a lack of volunteer recruiting during this period would not reflect negatively on my job performance. In fact, on the Monday of that week, I attempted to blend assigned task with recruiting responsibilities but was not encouraged to continue that process. I discontinued the practice in order to focus solely on my assigned task.

During my fourth and fifth week of employment, it was discovered that of the eight volunteers that I inherited when I was hired none were current on their TB tests and therefore were not allowed to see patients. I spent time informing them of these developments and helping them get current. As a result of this, my volunteer hours fell drastically short of the required 5%. However, focusing on this fact alone does not count recruiting presentations scheduled in the community that are certain to garner more volunteers and therefore increase volunteer hour percentages.

In summary, one partial month is not enough time to turn a program around. To evaluate my job performance without evaluating these facts is nonsensical and unjust. The unfortunate victims of this decision are the countless patients who will continue to be improperly served.

Sincerely,

Dawn Chandler

Job Update

It is funny to me that we would be happy about Jason not getting a job. But we are. I know he would be miserable. He doesn't even LIKE recreation and that was our major. The hours were horrible. They wanted someone to give a long commitment to moving up through the department and Jason's heart was not in that. I have never been so happy that he didn't get a job (and he doesn't NOT get them very often!)

I was actually offered my job on Friday. I am so excited and never thought I would be about going back to work for someone. I will be the Volunteer Coordinator for a hospice in Athens. I will be basically creating the program from scratch and will be responsible for 15 counties around a 60 mile radius around Athens.

I'll update more as I know it. It is going to be an adjustment for all of us. Please pray for us! :)

IEP Update

For those of you reading without knowledge of special ed or without a special needs child, this is a very involved post. I have posted a summary first for those of you who just want the basics. If you are involved in special ed or are family and want to know the details, feel free to read it all. :) Warning: it got long.

SUMMARY
The meeting took almost two hours! I could not believe it when we walked out at almost 5:00pm. I was very impressed with the way it was set up. The school is very technologically advanced and used a laptop with projector to allow everyone to view it while we were writing it. They basically took the Mississippi IEP and wrote it on their form, asked if I thought all the goals and such were still appropriate and we changed a few things around to fit what GA does differently than MS. The have done quite a few tests already and are continuing to evaluate him according to GA's standards. We did put in a request for adaptive PE which is in addition to the regular PE class he will take. OT and PT know about him but have not done anything with him yet. He is testing lower than his MS scores indicate but that is typical of him as he seems to test better once he gets comfortable with a teacher.

My main concern with Music Man and his schooling is how exhausted he is every night. His school day is two hours longer here due to the bus ride to and from school. It is about an hour and ten minutes one way and for a typical kid it would be tiring. We did decide he needed a snack in the afternoon (!!!) as his lunch is at 12:30pm and he wasn't eating again until he got home at 4:30pm. We have to meet again in 60 days as a state-to-state transfer once all of his testing is done. We will review the IEP again and decide is anything needs to be adjusted or changed.

MORE DETAILS
Music Man goes into a regular ed class as soon as he arrives at school just like he did in MS. I guess it would be called homeroom. I do not know how long he stays in there (tried to remember to ask for his daily schedule, but I think it is still not absolutely concrete since he is still doing a lot of testing.) He does get lunch, recess and specials (art, music, computer etc) with his regular ed class. He is also getting regular ed science and social studies with a para-pro, whom he adores. Reading is focused on a lot. I am unclear if what I am about to try to explain is what the school does or if it is district wide and I don't totally understand it all, but I will try my best to explain it. :) Classroom instruction is divided into units and a unit in this case is an hour. They have several reading units throughout the day (or is it week?) There is guided reading and teacher-directed reading as well as (I think) a regular reading unit/class. We are exploring how to divide up Noah's regular ed units (I think I heard yesterday that he gets 20 regular ed units in a given week.) We tossed around ideas such as the science and social studies being regular ed with the para-pro and then more self-contained/resource reading or even allowing him to go into more regular ed reading units such as the teacher-directed units and allowing the overlap of several reading units so he is getting exposure to more reading rather than just a minimal amount in the resource/self-contained class. My head is starting to hurt thinking about trying to explain it again. Forgive me. I am unsure if it is all clear. :)

I am concerned. I am very concerned. I love the school. I love the teachers. The administration is great. I am so worried about the length of his day. He doesn't seem to be making friends easily. He usually is able to tell me the names of friends as soon as he starts a new school year and new class. It has been two full weeks and he cannot tell me one name of a friend at school. His teachers were very glad to hear me point that out so they can be aware and help in that.

I am really just trying to get him through to the end of this school year and then re-evaluate during the summer. I hope and pray (really, really hard!!) that we are still here for next school term. I have been homesick for quite some time (like the whole eight years we were gone) and having just come back home, I am not ready to leave again. I really want to be close to family. I want my kids to grow up in the country and closer to family. Please pray for our transition to GA and as we look towards the future and dealing with the possibility of yet another move. And just so you know, moving again would mean that Jason was offered a ministry position that we felt God was telling us to take. We are not looking to just move for the sake of moving. It would definitely be God-led. Now all that being said, I am just trying to get though the year. I do not feel the bus ride is good for him but do not want to pull him out of school again when he is just trying to get used to things. We are considering other options as we look towards next school year and planning towards being here unless God leads otherwise.

Job Interview, IEP Update and Other Stuff

IEP was rescheduled to Friday at 3:00pm due to a scheduling conflict at the school. I will update after the IEP sometime this weekend.

Jason had a job interview yesterday. It went okay as he stated it. It was with the Morgan County Parks and Rec Department. It is entry level, but what our degree is actually in and he would be working a lot. It really wouldn't be more than what he does with Aquatic Expressions, but he would not be able to do anything else (like Aquatic.) Doing ministry along side this rec job would also be difficult as well. While we desperately need him to get the job, I have major mixed feelings about it. I was really hoping he could find a part-time permanent position so he could continue to do Aquatic and get back into ministry as well. But we will address that and deal with it if he is offered the job. PLEASE PRAY we make the right decision on any job consideration!

I have also been putting in applications and I am struggling with it too. I have not been paid for work regularly since Noah was born. It is very difficult to even fill out applications, construct a resume or feel like I am qualified since I have been doing volunteer non-profit work for the last seven years. Anyway, pray I will have the wisdom and courage when I need it.

And lastly, we have had a death in the family this week. Jason's best friend and cousin growing up lost his dad this week. If you have heard Jason preach regularly, you may have heard him talk about Russ and Brian. This was Russ' dad. Brian actually lost his dad last year. It has been difficult to say the least. Jason's dad was very close to Russ' dad as they are first cousins and grew up together. Today is the funeral. Please pray for the whole family during this time.

I only want what is best for my child (doesn't everyone?)

I have really been struggling with this blog post. I have been avoiding it and procrastinating horribly. So what I have decided to do is to let you guys in on the basics and then if you have questions or comments, feel free to leave them here or email me.

Noah is attending a school on the other side of the county from us. He gets his own private bus that comes and picks him up in front of the house and drops him off again in the afternoon. The bus ride is about 45 minutes in the morning and almost an hour or so in the afternoons. It takes 30 minutes by car. I hate that the bus takes forever. I hate that he is all the way across the county and I hate that I can't just drive him myself - right now we cannot afford the gas. Now before you all start protesting about having him served in his home district, please read the whole post.

I called the Walton County BOE DEES office before we even left Mississippi. (DEES is the Department of Exceptional Education Services, for those of you not in Georgia.) They requested some things to be faxed so they might go ahead and make an initial placement decision before we arrived. Hopefully it would be the correct placement and he would not have to change schools. Well when we arrived, it was clear they wanted to place him in the school he is actually in now and we began fighting it because of the distance. He is exhausted in any given regular day we have, even while living in Mississippi and only being 10 minutes from school (with traffic!)

Well, the short of it is, he is going to that school now. We have other concerns such as him being the only non-self-contained kid in a self-contained classroom. The teachers and admin at the school said he was the highest functioning in the program. I hate that too. He does get most of his academics in there, but is in a regular classroom for science and social studies. He also does homeroom, lunch, recess and "specials" with his typical classroom. Specials are what we called activity classes in Mississippi - art, music, computer and library. They even get one day of Spanish per week! All that being said, it is still somewhat against what I feel is best for him. I really don't, however, want to uproot him again in the middle of the school year. Georgia has a few weeks off in March for intercession and then spring break. The school year ends just after Memorial Day and starts up on July 30 (!!!) in Walton County. I really think they are working towards a year-round program although I am not certain that is the case.

Now as to why I haven't fought to keep him in his home school. This school he is in is the only one, according to the BOE, that serves kids in a self-contained resource room similar to what Noah was getting in Mississippi. The one that we are district-ed for does not even have a resource room. They serve the kids in the regular classroom pulling out as needed (I think) if they need extra help. The way I understand though is that they pull out and go to the library and there is not even a resource room to go to. I do not want to fight to have them change everything about what they do in order to meet the needs of my child when they are not used to doing it that way. I don't feel the teacher would like it, benefit from it etc and who's to say she wouldn't take it out on me (Noah) if she wasn't happy about the situation. I know what I mean and it makes sense in my head, but I don't know if I am making sense to anyone but me.

For next year, if we are still here in Walton County, I am considering other options.

So that's that. Wednesday is our official IEP meeting for the state-to-state transfer. I am a little nervous as I always am with IEP meetings. The admin at the school is wonderful though and I do like his teachers.

I may update again after the IEP meeting. If not, email me for the details!

I hate moving

It has been five years since we moved. The last time it was to Hernando from south Florida. We had only been in FL three years and had a lot less stuff. When you stay in one spot (as I guess most people have a tendency to do) you accumulate a lot of stuff. We found things we had actually packed when we graduated from college, moved to Good Hope, then to FL and then to MS without ever really going through it. It would go from place to place and be put into storage and then forgotten about. Well, this time we decided we did not want to move it again. We got most of it gone through, found some crazy stuff we have saved (papers from high school, poetry we had each written - in high school! and other various things that made us laugh.) Well then we got sick. It started with Farm Boy getting a fever virus the Monday before we were supposed to leave MS. Then I got it. Then I got the flu. Then Music Man got the fever virus. And then, just for fun, Jason reacted to an environmental allergy in a job he was finishing up. So we were pitiful. And we couldn't pack, let along think about leaving MS. I was overwhelmed by the amount of things I had to do before we left. The short of it is, I would probably still been there had a wonderful friend not come in and taken over. He got us packed up and loaded and we were on our way on Tuesday. All of us. Jason was in a very full Rider truck (in anticipation of bad weather coming in - very good decision by the way!) I was in my very full Suburban with two rowdy boys and two freaked out cats. We pulled in Tuesday night about 7:00pm. We were glad to be here, exhausted and wanting warm food and hot showers (we got both and very quickly and then fell into bed.)

Jason and his dad left out on Thursday heading back to Mississippi to get his work trucks and clean up the house. I am so thankful for good friends again as they would probably still not be back had he attempted to do everything on his own. I didn't realize how much we had actually left in MS, but due to some gracious friends, they were able to pack it all in. They were also well fed, well entertained and had a warm place to lay their heads. They got up early Sunday morning and headed out before the snow and ice arrived.

My Saturday was equally eventful. I had been looking for my clothes for three days. I had a few things, but couldn't remember if my clothes were in a box or a suitcase. I had a few things to wear but had no idea what I was going to wear to church on Sunday. Saturday I found them in a suitcase in our closet. Oh yes, you read correctly. My brain was mush. I so painstakingly tried to put my clothes where I could find them (I assume on Wednesday) that I in turn hid them from myself.

So now we are trying to organize our life again. We are staying at Jason's parents' house right now (just 200 yards or so from his grandparent's house where we will be living eventually.) We are slowly unpacking, cleaning out some things we didn't get to clean out before me left (due to the illnesses) and just having a great time hanging out with his parents. We just spent two weeks with them at Christmas, but after being gone from GA for the last eight years we have a lot of catching up to do on "just hanging out." Jason is networking and I am actually working on my resume as well. We are hoping he will be able to continue his landscaping business and also to get back into ministry.

I know many of you are wondering about Music Man and his schooling. That is a separate post. I am working on it but it may be another few days before it is ready to be published.

2009: A New Chapter

With the beginning of the new year comes a new chapter in our life. This was a somewhat difficult decision to make and a bittersweet one as well. We are leaving Hernando and moving back to Good Hope, at least temporarily. We are excited to be moving a lot closer to family but very sad to be leaving the friends we have made in the five years that we have called Hernando our home. This is the only place our children have known.

I know that many of you have questions about why we are doing this now. The short reason is that Jason’s business has dried up due to the economy and our cost of living will decrease in GA. We will be staying at his grandparents' farm just down the street from his parents' house, for at least a little while. Jason has some job prospects. Music Man will finish the school year in Walton County. Dawn is most likely going ahead sooner than Jason and taking the boys.

We are very ready to get back into ministry again. Please pray with us that God will lead us where He wants us. Pray for our small group. Pray the transition goes smoothly for the boys.

We have been immensely blessed over the years to have been in such a loving community. The friends we have made will always be near and dear to our hearts. We would love to see each one of you before we leave, but fear that to be impossible. But feel free to stop by if you would like and give us a hug! We are sure gonna miss you all!

We will keep our cell phone numbers at least for now. Email addresses will not change either. Find us on Facebook – we are both on there several times a day!

Biggest Full Moon of 2009 Happens Tonight!

The biggest and brightest full moon of the year happens tonight! I am excited and hope it will be clear tonight! There is more info on NASA's webpage.

Merry Christmas 2008!

We will be heading to GA on Friday, December 19th after Music Man's Christmas party at school. Please come see us while we are there! We'll be staying at Jason's parents' house for at least ten days (through the 29th or so.) We will have our cell phones and their phone number is the same one they have always had! You can also email or Facebook us if you want.

Magical Christmas Lights and .............

Magical Christmas Lights and .............
Originally uploaded by klg1309

Just testing out the new feature I added from flickr.

I am a survivor, too...

Cheryl Haggard is one of the co-founders of the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization. NILMDTS is the infant bereavement photography organization that provides professional portrait packages to families experiencing pregnancy loss. I have been involved with the organization for quite some time now but have only recently discovered her personal blog. She writes with such compassion and blatant honesty and I cannot help but post this as it describes how every bereaved mother feels about her pregnancy loss.

I am a survivor too...

from Cheryl Haggard's Blog (The Haggard Family) by Cheryl Haggard

So, I was wearing my Maddux necklace the other day, and a lady asked me about it. I told her that was my son, Maddux. He died three 1/2 years ago. I went on to explain about the month of October being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and this was a way for me to honor him during this time...She politely nodded her head, like she understood, and then she opened her mouth. "Oh my God! I would just die if something happened to one of my children." "How did you ever survive?" Like I ever had a choice? How many times did I say I wished death would have taken me too? That only my death could ever stop my pain? That I have three other children at home, that needed a mother. How do I tell this to a stranger? Her question, for a moment made me feel like a failure. Like if I had been a good mother, I too would be dead. If we really loved our children, would we not die for them? Lay down our own lives?


Well, I stood there for a moment? Thought about her question. Then I opened my mouth. Yes, you heard me, I opened my mouth. I said, very politely, "I did die. My world was dark for such a long time. The person I was before my son does not exist anymore. Today, I stand before you, a new person, a stronger person, and a better mother. A person that can show empathy and compassion to a complete stranger." She looked at me, and I think she started to stutter out an apology. I stopped her and said "Please, no apology. You didn't say anything wrong, you said what you felt. Next time you meet a mother that has lost a child, and I am sure you will, just remember that a part of her did die. And that she is a survivor. A survivor of something there is no cure for, except that, of having her child back in her arms." Know what happened next?

She gave me a small hug, and whispered "Thank you..."


There is so much publicity about breast cancer awareness during the month of October, Pregnancy and Infant Loss gets swept under the rug. You all know what I mean and what I am saying. I want to scream at the top of my lungs "I AM A SURVIVOR!!!!" "MY BABY DIED, AND THERE IS NO CURE FOR THAT!!!" "WHAT ABOUT ME????" "WHERE IS MY AWARENESS, WHERE IS MY SUPPORT???" "HELLO, IS ANYBODY LISTENING?"

The Haggard Family: I am a survivor, too...

Remembering Your Baby: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day Service Planned

Remembering Your Baby: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day Service Planned

Did It Have Corn Syrup In It?

Jason came home from work pretty late for a Saturday. Adin was anxiously awaiting their snuggle time and had his "Bible" all ready for Daddy to read. Jason read to him and of course Adin asked for several more stories. Jason, being exhausted from the week and day asked Adin to read to him instead. We love it when Adin "reads" to us, making up what he thinks the story is by what is going on in the picture. They went though several stories and then went back to Adam and Eve. Adin is full of questions at all time and even though he is "reading" he is asking a lot of 'Whys.'

Adin: Daddy why are they sad? (meaning Adam and Eve)
Jason: Because they did something they weren't supposed to do and God was punishing them for it. Like when you do something bad and Mommy and Daddy have to punish you.
Adin: Mm hmm. Why they did something bad?
(.... several questions and answers back and forth about Adam and Eve ....)
Jason: ... and it was bad that they did that and they should not have eaten it. (the apple)
Adin: Did it have corn syrup in it?

I lost it. I had been folding laundry in the living room hearing the whole conversation and story time.

We have recently eliminated corn syrup from the boys' diet and Adin assumes everything "bad" has corn syrup in it. How absolutely precious!

We are button-less!!

Music Man got his mickey button (G-Tube) out Wednesday afternoon! We went in for a checkup and to talk about getting it out.

The doctor said, "Well, mom, when do you want it out?"
"As soon as possible!"
"Well, let me go get a syringe!" and off he went!



Music Man was very upset about losing his button (he hates change!) But he did beautifully and after a few hours quit whining about not wanting it out. He hates the band-aid over it and picks at it constantly, but I am afraid he will pick at the hole if we take it off before it is completely healed. The hole inside his body is closed (it started closing immediately. We got back in a month to have him check it. We have kept a band-aid over it to keep him from messing with it and to catch whatever might leak out. It is healing beautifully! It is so strange to not see it under his clothes but so wonderful to bear hug him without worrying about the button!

Ever Get So Behind it Looks Like You Are First?

So it is almost September and I have close to 200 pictures that I haven't weeded through. I have these cute posts floating around in my head about the boys and things they have done. (I think that happens to everyone once they start blogging. It becomes an addiction! ... Oh I could blog that! ... Oh wow, that would be so cute to blog about!) Anyway, I hope in the next few weeks I'll get through the things I was gonna tell you about. I have some really cool stuff going on right now though ...

• Remembering Your Baby paperwork (for the 501 (c) 3 status) is almost done!
• We are starting a Bible Study next week! (Well, I am just the organizer, Jason will be teaching it!
• We are starting to get the hang of our new schedule! (But Adin starts soccer next week, so we'll see how that plays in on Monday!)
• I have a pre-teen(!) Ok that's not cool ... see previous post ... but it is still on my mind!

OK I gotta go play catch up! It's 5:00am here and I've been awake since 3:30 a.m. And no, I don't know why!

I Have a Pre-Teen????

When did this happen? I am NOT ready for this!! Yesterday we went to our regular pediatrician for a normal yearly checkup. (We somehow missed it last year and it was time to get all of Music Man's scripts for therapy updated so we just did this year's check up a few months early.) Our pediatrician is wonderful and we only see him when we go for Music Manbecause he knows Music Manso well and is fabulous with him. Anyway, everything checked out fine, we talked a bit about other appointments we are scheduled for and of course checked his height and weight etc. Well, the little general info sheet for the age of child check-up actually said PRE-TEEN CHECKUP at the top. Oh my! Where oh where did the time go? A pre-teen!! The good news is that he only has to get these checkups every other year now. We do have to go back for his Flu Shot and Hep A if we decide to do that one.

Height: 51 1/2" (40%)
Weight: 49 lbs (5%)

Those numbers look so ominous when written down. He is still on the same growth pattern he has always been on but I sure would like to figure out how to put a little weight on him!

Family Update August 08

School started for Music Man last Thursday. He has now finished a full week and is doing well. He is in resource for his academics on a modified third grade curriculum. He is with his typical peers during homeroom, recess, lunch and activity (computer, library, pe, music and art.) He likes his new teachers (and we do too!) Music Man gets speech, OT and PT in school and speech in private therapy as well. We have recently found a hippotherapy program just south of us, but do not yet know if we can get it covered by insurance. (Hippotherapy is a physical, occupational and speech therapy treatment strategy that utilizes equine movement, as defined by the American Hippotherapy Association.) He has various appointments scheduled over the next few months including his first visit to the orthodontist! We actually have to travel to Tupelo for his orthodontics doctor as no one around here takes his insurance.



Farm Boy still has a couple of more weeks before he starts back in Mother's Day Out. He is looking forward to starting his "school" again. Unfortunately, his two closest buddies are a few months older than him and started school this year. He will end up being one of the oldest in his classes (just like me, lol!) Farm Boy will begin soccer in a local church in another week or so. It is non-competitive and a lot of fun for the kids.



I started a blog for Remembering Your Baby on July 3, which was seven years since we lost Sammie. Please feel free to visit if you would like to see it.



Please pray with us as we consider the next chapter in our life. We are aching to get back into ministry after three years of soaking. We know our heart's desire but want to be absolutely sure it is what God wants and not just what we want. Details will be forth-coming as soon as we know what we are going to do.



Blessings, Dawn

New Look for the Blog

I found a cool site for free Blogger Templates, and have been playing around with this particular one. Let me know what you think.